Christmas...

My friend woke me up at 11 o'clock... He didn't get any sleep that night... He told me to get prepared for Christmas mass...
I look at the clock, sighing, then rest my head for another 10 minutes...
I just realized... It's Christmas...
In the shower, i got to think what could I do this Christmas...
I got dressed and nothing good crossed my mind that whole time...
I looked at myself in the misty mirror, hadn't clean it for a while... And I thought, I was missing something...
On my way to church, I tried to figure out what's missing... Oh well, I might as well found it out later...

I passed the mass, just singing those christmas carols... Listening to the pastor... saying merry christmas to everybody with a smile...
Wait... that's it...
I usually smile the whole day on Christmas... And not just on the day of Christmas...
Days, even weeks before that... When I practiced many new songs in the choir.... When I decorated my class with my high school mates.. When I had Christmas dinner with my family...

I got through this Christmas just like any ordinary day... sitting in my apartment, joking with my friend, playing some games.... Trying to push those flashing memories away...
Trying to make it as ordinary as possible... Yet I didn't want it to be ordinary...

The next day, a stranger wish me a merry Christmas... He's alone and he was smiling...
I smiled back, the best smile I could give to him...
At that moment, I know I was not smiling for him, I smiled for myself...
Knowing that the joy is always there... I was just too distracted by the fact that everybody could have fun and I couldn't because I was alone... I realized, sharing the joy has only little to do with to whom we share it... It's great if it's someone you know, but it will be a blessing if you can share it with everybody...

From that moment, the smile never leave... It stays the whole day, and I promise myself it will stay there for the rest of this holiday... =)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Everyone!!!!

Have you ever been in love?

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love".

Neil Gaiman

FYI...

About my previous post, it's not that my road trip is canceled...
We'll still go on that road trip. Yay!!
And because of that, maybe there won't be any posting for a week...
I'm not planning to bring my laptop with me so...
Anyway if I do bring it with me, I won't forget to tell y'all interesting things that will happen in my road trip...
Wish me a safe trip guys!

Did my ears deceive me?

Ok... I just want to meet people who say that United States is the Land of Freedom.
I want to hear the reasons why they say such thing.
And prepare yourself America, I have some counter-arguments for you.

First of all, I need to tell you that for Thanksgiving holiday, my friends and I are going on a road trip to LA tomorrow!!! I hope I can sleep well tonight because, hell yeah, I'm so excited.
Part of this trip is also a birthday celebration for my friend Jessie.. Happy birthday jes!
Preparation is critical so we spent 2 weeks to get everything in the right place.
Places-to-go-to-list....... Checked.
Hotel reservation....... Checked.
Clothes....... Checked.
Cars....... Not Checked, because everyone is under 21 years old. Silly isn't it?

So here's what happened.
My friends tried to rent 2 cars for the road trip. We went to this one place called A**s near our apartment. This is the conversation that happened...

Jessie : Hi, we want to rent a car..
A**s Receptionist (AR) : Sorry, we're all booked for today.
Fiona : No, no, it's not for today. We need it on wednesday through Monday.
AR : Ok, let me check if there's any car available.
Fiona : Actually we need 2 cars.
AR : Is it the regular size you want.
Jessie : Yes.
AR : Okay, so two cars for 5 business days, the total is bla..bla..bla.. I'll need your credit card.
Jessie : Um.. Is it okay if we use debit card?
AR : You can do that, but you need to be at least 25 years old to use a debit card. Is one of you 25 years old or more?
*5 first semester college students stared at each other...*
Fiona : Well, we're college students so... Anyway if we have a credit than everything will be fine right?
AR : Only if one of you is over 21 years old. Who'll be driving?
Jessie : Me and one of my friends.
AR : Are you 21 years old?
Jessie : Well.... *Staring at us, looking for back up*, no.
AR : Oh... I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to rent you a car if the driver is under aged.

The next few lines are originally spoken in Indonesian, still in front of the AR.
Jessie : So, what are we gonna do? Start lying?
Me : Yeah, just say that the other driver is 21.
Fiona : Ask her if we can deposit money or something for the car.
Jessie : This is starting to get annoying. Why are our ages a problem?

AR : So?
Jessie : Can we like deposit money or something?
AR : No, the only problem is the age. I'm sorry. And even if you have a credit card, you'll be charge 50 dollars extra for each car because you're under 21.
Me : WTF??!!! (Of course I didn't say it out loud.. =P)

This conversation happened at 3 different car rentals.
I thought I decided to study here to taste that freedom that everybody was talking about.

They say Indonesia is a cultural country, with many moralities and stuffs.
The fact that a junior high is allowed to drive without a license in Indonesia, well, I really question the existence of that USA freedom (and Indonesian morals of course... *big smile*).
Facts for Indonesian who thinks that college life in USA is similar to those in movies :
1. You need to show your ID to buy cigarettes (18+) or alcohol (21+)
2. After six months, I never see couples make out in movie theaters (I looked around EVERYTIME).
3. You need to be 21+ to get into a club. There are some 18+ club, but you'll drink a glass of orange juice or a diet soda without a 21+ ID.

So, if you want to taste a happy, full of fun college life, stay away from USA.
I've heard stories from my friends who go to college in Indonesia and they have a WILDER life there. Those movies trick me big time...

Hopes and Regrets

I am staring blankly at my bed, thinking when will I have time to make up my bed...
I am also thinking for how long will I sleep on it until my first trip home since I arrived here, in San Fransisco...
Approximately 8 months...
I never thought that being away from home will be this tough...
Not that I don't like it here.. San Fransisco is a very beautiful city...
Especially when you gaze at the night lights from twin peaks, possibly the highest point in the city.. Can't get enough of that soothing and tranquil feeling


2 months ago, after I saw many wonderful sight in the city, I thought staying here for a little longer will be a cinch.
I have to lick my own saliva.. (Okay, I know it sounds really gross. It has a better sound and meaning in Indonesian =P ).
Giving up this early is such a shame.

I regret my decision to stay here for winter recess.
I didn't realize I miss J-town so much.
I miss my noisy house; my beloved family, my parents, brother, and two little sisters; my friends at school, at church, everywhere.
I miss the sofa at Puri Indah Mall's Starbucks, the grilled chocolate bread at Green Garden Boulevard, and, of course, the noodle at AGOAN (It is to DIE for..).
I know 8 months is not that long. But when you know you'll spend those 3 weeks of recess just sitting in front of your PC, watching YouTube while eating fastfood, you know you've just made a wrong decision... Sad part is, it is my decision...

A month left until the beginning of Christmas holiday. I am doing nothing but looking for activities to do in that 3 weeks of boredom.
Well, it is my first Christmas in USA. After 18 hot Christmases in Jakarta, at least this year will be a "cool" one.
I hope they are planning something great for Christmas at downtown. I don't want to spend Christmas in my apartment, cleaning it.
New Year's Eve is another thing to look forward to I guess. Free fireworks to watch, hmm.... not bad, not bad at all. Many people want to celebrate New Year here. I know my sisters will be jealous.

Well, I guess those 8 months won't be a bummer.
It is going to be less fun without the people I love most, but I guess skype is good enough for now.
Everyone, I miss you guys so much and I hope you miss me too.



P.S. If anyone is spending his/her Christmas away from home too, suggest some activities for me please. FYI, "watching Youtube while eating fastfood" is still in my to-do-list right now. =P

Please be nice... =P

Greetings to everyone in the blogging world.
For the very first post I just want to say hello to everyone.

To be honest I am a newbie in this kind of things...
I express myself better with music so.. please be nice..

My posts will be about... Just wait and see...
Thanks a lot for keeping me company in this virtual world...
Your every visit is thanked by me...